Why I've Cancelled Dating Apps

Something I've learned about dating as an adult is that - dating is supposed to be fun. That is always considered to be the point, but growing up in a culture that demonizes you if you even talk to the opposite sex then one day expects you to bear children - you never really understand the concept of dating. It's also something I rarely hear women who look like me openly talk about. I'm not saying I will disclose my entire dating life online, but I have learned that the best dating experiences and encounters I've had have been through meeting people in real life, not an app.

I haven't been on dating apps in over a year, and - It's an exciting feeling.

Every time I tell someone this, they seem to be shocked. "How do you do it?" is the first question they always ask me. And my reply is simple.

Being attractive doesn't just mean physically. It also means being attractive to opportunities and experiences. Once you change your consciousness to "I want to meet amazing people," you start bringing other like-minded people into your vortex.

For example - a few months ago, I was getting ready to go to a street festival in my neighborhood. Before I left the house, I looked in my mirror and told myself, "I'm going to be a peacock." Meaning my intention was to simply look good and be admired. I kid you not, the second my foot stepped outside my building, a man approached me and asked me for my number.

Another more recent encounter was during a workout (this time, I definitely did not look as cute as in the last story). Nonetheless, I kept seeing the same guy pass me by as I did my stair workout at a local viewpoint. Towards the end of my workout and almost at the top of the stairs, he turned and looked at me to say, "We're almost done…want to race to the top?" and we did! He won, but that experience was literally out of a movie! What topped it off was, on my walk home, he also happened to drive by me, rolled down his window, and was shocked that I was still continuing my workout and held another conversation with me - we were yelling across the street to each other. I couldn't help but laugh the entire time. Again, it felt like out of a movie.

artwork: @oxherdboy

These are just two of a handful of stories about organically meeting men. The best thing about having more genuine interactions with attractive people is to focus on what makes you feel confident and let that energy radiate from you. People will see that and automatically gravitate towards you. This leads to more authentic and genuine connections and a more fluid dating life. I also have noticed much less pressure than the tension of being on the apps.

This is a period in my life where I'm exploring my

likes and dislikes about a partner and letting myself learn more about what I want from the long-term relationship I commit myself to. Once you take the pressure off meeting "the one" and allow yourself to learn more about someone you're attracted to - the entire experience feels deeper. It allows you to navigate the relationship with a clearer mind.

I encourage you to go out and be a peacock. Let me know if you end up meeting someone on your journey.

xx

Sim