What 1 Year of Therapy Has Taught Me

Growing up Indo-Fijian, therapy wasn't mentioned or talked about often. And if it was, it was often associated with negative undertones with the assumption that the person seeking treatment was "crazy."

As I heard more stories of close friends as to why they have sought therapy, it became evident to me that some of the daily emotions I felt (anxiety, periods of depression, being overwhelmed, inability to regulate my feelings, just to name a few) weren't actually expected to handle daily.

These feelings were only amplified as I found myself navigating through the last few years making life-altering decisions: ending long-term relationships (both romantic and platonic), questioning my entire career path and quitting without a backup plan, moving across the country for a period to "find myself", and so on.

The more you challenge yourself, leave your comfort zone, and pursue things you've only dreamed of, the more your insecurities, fears, doubts, and limiting self-beliefs come to the forefront. And this is precisely what should happen as you pursue growth.

Ironically, that also makes growth hard, uncomfortable, and sometimes unbearable, depending on what you need to work on. Sometimes you need an unbiased opinion to show you the gaps in your thinking, make you question why you hold certain beliefs, and, most importantly - reassure you that you're doing okay. That is why I decided to seek help. Realizing that you can't do all things alone is a powerful feeling.

When we see the CEO's success stories, we hear how they created a multi-million or billion-dollar company. We glorify their achievements and attribute them to hard work and dedication to the company. While some of this is valid, I've learned that the most successful entrepreneurs always have an internal support system behind them, helping them through their personal endeavors. This could be an executive coach, mentor, personal assistant, etc. We always reach significant milestones together; a hundred hands always go behind the success of a person, company, product, etc. American society puts a lot of emphasis and value on being an individual contributor to your own success, and we have failed to acknowledge the power of the collective. Specifically the collective of voices who help overcome limiting beliefs, share inspiration, or even provide comfort in times of what feels like rock bottom.

Whether your goal is to be a multi-million dollar company owner, a world traveler, a monk, a stay-at-home parent, etc., you need help. You need a support system of some sort. This can come from family, friends, mentors, and even therapists. As I get older, I often reflect on who is on my team and how I can improve my team to help me reach my potential. This is the main reason I decided to seek therapy.

I've now been in therapy for a year, and if there's any one lesson I can share with you that I've learned, it's this: Regarding your mental health, "doing the work" isn't just about clocking in and out.

Images by: @bunnymichael

If there's anything I've learned about myself, my growth and potential are limitless. The only thing putting a limit on the things I can accomplish is me. And that's true for you too. We can achieve anything we set our minds to, but we need to make sure our mind is in a place where we can clearly focus and work through whatever limiting beliefs we have about ourselves.

Everyone's struggles will differ, and some people won't even understand some of the things you have had to process to gain the confidence needed to get to where you are or where you're trying to be. But that's nobody's business. It is your responsibility to work through whatever you're going through, and this requires you to be radically honest with yourself and, if you can, your therapist. Therapy is ineffective unless you're being as honest with yourself as possible. And sometimes, that's the first challenge in itself. Being honest with yourself is hard, but the sooner you can face your truth, the sooner you'll be able to break down those mental barriers stopping you from being where and who you want to be.

I'll share that from my experience, "doing the work" is really ugly and requires periods of pain. But I've come to accept that I'll do what's best for me, even if it means enduring a period of suffering, because I know whatever lesson or opportunity awaits me on the other side is always 100% worth it. Becoming aware that you need help is the first and most significant step you can take toward unlocking your potential.

After one year of consistent therapy, it's been one of the critical components of my being able to brave through breakups, self-doubt, building my business, and working through being laid off.

If you want to seek therapy but don't know where to start, I highly recommend BetterHelp. You can get 1 week free with [this link].

xx,

Sim